Helping Your Child Build Social–Emotional Skills for a Great Start to School
The back‑to‑school season brings a mix of excitement and big feelings for both children and parents. Whether your child is entering preschool, Transitional Kindergarten (TK), or Kindergarten, these early school years are full of new routines, new friendships, and lots of learning. In California, children usually start TK at age four and Kindergarten at age five, with preschool often serving ages 2.9 and up. TK acts as a gentle bridge between preschool and Kindergarten, giving children extra time to grow socially and emotionally before entering a full school day.
Even though every child grows at their own pace, there are some common signs that they’re beginning to feel ready for school. You might notice your child trying to take turns, following simple instructions, or practicing moving from one activity to the next, like finishing playtime and settling in with a book. These early skills help children feel confident as they step into a classroom.
Local Early Development Index (EDI) results show us something important: many children in our community need extra support in the areas of social competence and emotional maturity. In 2025, we saw that at least 1 in 10 kindergarteners are not on track with social skills and/or emotional maturity. This number has increased since 2015, showing us that the gap in kindergarten readiness in Orange County is increasing.
The EDI is a teacher-completed tool, which means that the teacher provides data based on what they observe and experience with their students in their classrooms. Kindergarten children are developing across five areas, including how well they manage emotions, cooperate with others, and feel ready for classroom routines. EDI provides a big-picture understanding of how young children are growing – not to evaluate individual kids, but to help families, schools, and communities work together to support early childhood development. A gap in social‑emotional skills mean children are entering school needing more help with things like sharing, coping with frustration, and interacting with peers.
The power to build these skills start at home. Before children start school, their parent is their first teacher. Families can make a big difference through small, everyday moments. Here are some ways to help children develop critical social-emotional skills that get them ready for school:
Show your calm. Children learn emotional skills by watching you. Naming feelings and showing ways to cope, like taking breaths or asking for help, teaches them what healthy emotional expression looks like. Check out our mindfulness sheets for help getting started.
Practice turn‑taking. Whether it’s choosing a story or sharing a snack, these little moments help children understand cooperation and fairness. Check out our Kid Builders activities for back to school, including practicing taking turns, in our post here.
Create predictable routines. When children know what to expect, they feel safer and more confident, which makes it easier to follow instructions and transition between activities.
Nurture independence. Your child will benefit from being able to use the restroom independently, take their jacket off and put it back on and do other simple tasks on their own. Encourage their efforts, celebrate their successes and remember that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. By allowing them to take ownership of potty training, dressing themselves and using a backpack, you are teaching them valuable skills that will serve them in school.
Use pretend play for problem‑solving. Imaginative games help children think through emotions, try out solutions, and prepare for new experiences in a playful way.
Talk about feelings often. Simply labeling emotions (“It looks like you’re feeling frustrated”) helps children understand what they’re experiencing and learn compassion for others.
Create chances to play with other children. Peer play is one of the best ways for kids to learn sharing, cooperating, and getting along with others, which are key parts of building social competence. If your child isn’t quite ready for school yet, you can always connect with other families at a Learning Link or one of our many community events.
As you help your child prepare for the upcoming school year, remember that social‑emotional readiness isn’t about getting everything “just right.” The best way to support your children is by helping them gain the tools to understand their feelings, connect with others, and feel confident stepping into a new environment. Findings from a 2015 study with UCI found that Orange County kindergarten children’s language and cognitive skills strongly predict how well they will perform on 3rd‑grade math and reading tests. Kids who start school with stronger early language and thinking skills tend to continue doing better academically as they move through elementary school. With both practice and encouragement, children can build the strong emotional foundations they need to thrive in their early classrooms, setting them up for long-term success.
For more ideas, activities, and guidance, check out First 5 Orange County’s EDI Parent Toolkit and Building Blocks for Kindergarten Handbook, or explore Kid Builders activities tailored to each age. Together, we can help every child start school feeling supported, confident, and ready to shine in the classroom and beyond!